Hello, Where Has Mercedes Gone?

I’m back, my friends!  Hafta tell ya that I was knocked flat by something resembling The Black Plague, but being sick gave me time to think about things.  Mainly all of the many things that I do because I feel like I’m supposed to do them.  Take this Thursday for example.

I worked hard to obtain a type of Medallion.  It’s awesome.  In my circle of friends, it’s the female’s equivalent to a Boy Scout’s Eagle rank.  And this isn’t the first time that I earned it; it’s the second.  The first time I was 17.  This time I did it because I work with a group of girls and they’re working hard to achieve it, and I never ask anybody to do something that I won’t do myself.  So rock on, yeah?

They’re having a little ceremony and they’re highlighting the stone-cold awesome women who have busted their butts to achieve this award.  Unfortunately, this is the same night that Andrea Brown from the Andrea Brown Literary Agency is coming to speak to the Las Vegas Writers Group.  What?!  It gets even worse.  Both meetings are on opposite parts of the city.  At the same time.

Nooooooooo!

I don’t care about being honored.  I already earned the award and I’m very proud of it, but I felt that I should go because I already committed to it.  It isn’t a big deal: I’m supposed to walk onstage, get a flower or something, and zip on down the other side.  But to miss Ms. Brown while she speaks?  Miss the chance to ask her questions?  I have a novel that I’m querying for!  Am I crazy?!

So while I was lying in my sick bed, I had an epiphany.  It was this: In my life, why do I spend valuable time on people I’d much rather kick in the eye?

Okay, so that’s a lyric from The Smiths, but it still amounts to the same thing.  Why do I feel that I must do everything, even when it hurts my personal goals?  I’m a yes girl. I like to help. I volunteer. I like to carry my own weight, and then some.

But why?  Who am I afraid of letting down?

I finally sucked it up and let the woman in charge know that I didn’t think I could attend the ceremony.  I had something really important going on elsewhere at the same time.  (And quite honestly, half of my problem was that this ceremony had been rescheduled twice. It didn’t originally conflict.)

Know what happened?  This woman totally understood.  In fact, she made a few phone calls and settled everything for me.  Nobody minded. I had heaped this stress on myself FOR NO REASON.  It’s a lesson that I took to heart. I’m letting the unnecessary things drop in order to do the things that matter most.

Also, I have some very, very good news about my son.  That is the other reason I’ve been MIA lately.  I can’t wait to tell you in a few days!

Google history: falcor the luck dragon, kings of leon, memoir proposal, elegance in bloom headband, bayonetta, project runway season 5, threadbanger, glass shards in skin, unicorn fluff

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19 thoughts on “Hello, Where Has Mercedes Gone?

  1. Hello dearie!

    I am glad you sorted your conflict out. Sometimes we do have to step back and ask what we really want. Sometimes it is really hard to decide but in the end, why tear yourself up all the time?
    Big hugs and cannot wait to hear your good news!

  2. Mercedes!! I’m so glad to see ya!! (and I’m also relieved you’re feeling better, I had a touch of the black plauge-ish schtuffas a couple weeks ago and I wouldn’t even wish that upon the people I really, really, really dislike.)

    Now congratulations on your revelation. I know it’s hard to break the “yes” girl mentality, especially when you’ve worked so hard to be a respected person who is always trustworthy. Tis a good lesson you learned last week, hopefully you can do some good things for yourself now as well.

    Hope you had fun at the conference/meeting/writing thingy with Andrea Brown… and can’t wait to hear the news about your son!

  3. Mercedes, even though I know you are Superwoman and one of the few people I truly look up to and admire, you don’t have to do everything, you are not “Superwoman” to everyone and everything only to yourself and the people who you wish to look at you as Superwoman. I am a better person since I have met you and we have become friends. I admire you for trying to do both since you believe in both, but your goals have to come first. And give those beautiful kids and hubby a big hug and know you do have your own cheering squad behind you, just like you have been for many of your friends and family. (okay its way too early for me and I should still be sleeping, but I got early doc’s appt, my new super cardiologist so I am thinking about you and all you do for yourself, your family and your friends.)

  4. Yes! Er, I mean no! Uh, okay, I’m kind of a yes girl too. But you knew that. I’m so glad you’ve had an epiphany and can now go hear Ms. Brown. Awesome!

  5. So glad you went to the Brown event! Sounds like you would have really regretted missing it, had you not gone.

    I’m in the same boat on the yes-thing. I have it wired in my head that I have to volunteer for everything I hear about which I am capable of helping with. I feel absolutely guilty turning down anyone, anytime, ever. This even goes for the select handful of folks who, as you said, I DON’T really care about, or who have burned me before.

    Here’s to the “no”s in our lives, and all the wonderful things they’ll finally leave us time to do.

    Also eagerly wondering about your son–can’t wait for the good news!

    Great blog. 🙂

  6. Epiphanies are awesome. The Black Plague is not. Epiphanies while recovering from the Black Plague may just cancel out the lack of awesome of the Black Plague, however.

    You’re a writer, darlin’. That’s one thing you do for you. Work it, ’cause you’re good at it. I’m glad you’ve kicked the guilts and decided to follow the dream.

  7. You were sick too? I swear it’s going around.

    I totally understand. I’m usually a go-with-the-flow type of girl. If someone asks me to do something, I rarely say no but then again, I don’t say yes either. Just give a shrug and go with it. Good for you for making the tough choice. You just have to do what’s best for you even if it means hurting someone’s feelings. Can’t make everyone happy.

  8. I see how it is… you ditch something else to come hang out with me.
    Ok, so Andrea Brown was there too. And BillietheGirl.

    but seriously, Mystical-M, these wombats are backing you up.

    When you tell people that you write, they will look at you as if you are crazy. they’ll tell you, “oh but what do you really do?” They will say “that’s nice for you but my life is too busy to waste on fancies.”

    But you know the truth. The truth is you HAVE TO write or everything would grind to a halt and the earth would go cold.

    Say yes to writing, and maybe to pretty much everything else.

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