I really, really want to write every night, but it ain’t happening. I try to get in five or ten minutes during the busy day, but it’s nigh impossible. Why, you ask? Because school is out and my home has turned into a miniature Yoo Hoo bar fight. Spindly arms and legs are everywhere as the children tussle over who gets to hold the remote/ring the doorbell/start the dryer/sit in the red/blue chair. It’s over 100 degrees and I can’t concentrate because my brain has melted into a pile of goo. We have medical appointments coming out of our ears. My husband is starting his busy season at work and I’m basically a single mom until mid-October. I hit an emotional wall on the Williams project and long to write something fun and flirty. My keyboard is full of toast crumbs. We just put in another episode of Lost. I can’t write on days that end in “y”.
I had an epiphany the other day. I realized that I have been *gasp* lying around instead of really working! Somehow my razor sharp ambition has gradually dulled until it’s as comfortably lethal as a Nerf gun. Call it the lazy days of summer. Call it getting complacent.
Taking a rest isn’t a bad thing, but there’s a difference between “Whew! I’m taking a quick breather!” and “Babycakes, bring Mama her Coke because she can’t reach that far, kthnxbai”. And from what I’m hearing from the Blogosphere, I’m not the only one that startled, looked around, and realized that I had gone from writing jungle cat to napping house cat. Meow.
The good thing is that once you recognize there is a problem, you can take steps to take care of it. I realize that I miss the hunger. I miss the chase. I miss writing a scene that makes me catch my breath or wipe my eyes or storm around outside afterward because I have to work off the excess energy. That’s when I feel complete. It’s what makes me whole.
I took a few minutes to create a plan for myself. I picked a few areas that I struggle in and I figured out How To Get Organized. My focus is already clearer, and I’m going to share a few of these ideas on my blog during the next few weeks.
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