I’m Sorry: An Open Letter of Apology to My Son

My very dear child,

Mama loves you, do you know that?  Very much.  So much it hurts. But sometimes people make mistakes.  Even mamas.

You see, I went to a writer’s conference this weekend.  It was big and shiny and wonderful. You know how you feel when you see firetrucks and escalators and all of the other amazing things that make your eyes light up?  This was like that.  It was called Killercon, and there were heroes and villains and everyman there.  Mama had waited a year for it.

Mama was gone a lot, and you were left with Daddy, who rocks hardcore.  Daddy, the Angry Ginger, and the Trusty Babysitter worked together to make sure that you and your sisters survived Mama’s absence, and they did a wonderful job.  But no laundry was done, and that has led us to today’s tragedy.

I know that no child should go to school in green and brown plaid pants with a red and blue striped shirt.  You have no idea how it pained me to send you off like that.  I wrote a brief explanatory note to your teacher, in which I begged her not to judge us and call you Oliver Twist for the rest of the year.  Your sisters, they have hardships as well, but not nearly as severe as yours.  A baby in nothing but a diaper is adorable.  A four-year-old in mismatched clothes is merely dressing herself.  But you?  Ah, you deserve better.  Let me make it up to you by singing Three Green and Speckled Frogs until I’m blue in the face.

I also apologize because your little sister is currently wearing your underwear, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Love and Kisses,

Mama

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13 thoughts on “I’m Sorry: An Open Letter of Apology to My Son

  1. This is the story you are going to have told back to you a decade from now, with “but it was certainly character building”… 🙂

  2. BigWords: It’ll all come out in therapy, I’m sure of it.

    Tony: I remember waxing on about all of my mother’s faults, but she never once sent me to school looking like a rag doll. Oh, it hurts! 😉

    Cate: I’ll have him in a little suit and tie before they get here! You just wait1

    Ken, I’m just afraid. For you, not of you.

  3. Well, Mercedes, it could have been worse. The blue and red striped shirt could have been plaid too. That would have been a tragedy of truly epic proportions so don’t feel too bad it could have been worse. Did his socks match? Focus on the positive. It will all be okay.

    All my love,

    Ardee-ann

  4. Ardee-ann, I’m going to remain mum on the socks. For real.

    Kristina, who knew you were an optimist? 😀

    Lynsey, thank you for the vote of confidence! Today he matched. Unfortunately, it was Saturday so it didn’t count.

    Jami, I have considered wearing my prom dress before because there seriously wasn’t anything else that was clean. No, wait, I mean to say that we’re just very formal at my house. 😉

    Teresa: What’s funny is that I cared and he totally didn’t. Mothers!

  5. Oh. My.

    The great thing about older kids is that when they say they can’t find what they want to wear, I say, “Guess you should have done your laundry. Not my problem.” And then they have to wear something dirty or what they don’t like. Oh well.

    My three younger ones have school uniforms, so that’s kind of lovely–even if laundry isn’t done, they just dig out dirty uniforms. Again… oh well…

    I figure it’s all part of my plan to make them want to run away screaming as soon as they turn 18…. It’s all part of the grand scheme… 😉

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