The Realistic Holiday Newsletter 2015

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Last year my friends and I were joking around and wrote some realistic holiday newsletters.  I think it needs to become a new tradition. Here’s the Realistic Yardley Holiday Newsletter for 2015.

Hello, family and friends! It’s time to check in and update you on all of the goings-on of our household. What fun! We’re sure you’re simply holding your breath.

LUKE went feral this year, growing a beard, running races, and becoming obsessed with a diet of red meat, sticks of butter, and tree bark. MERCEDES finally lost it and shaved her head. We all knew this day would come. OLDEST has an attitude and a peach-fuzz mustache. MIDDLEST has killed our love for music by starting piano lessons and choir. LITTLEST pretends she is a kitty and only eats out of a dish on the floor.

The house has become possessed and is overrun with scorpions. We’re taking turns smearing lamb’s blood on the door to keep a handle on things. It isn’t working.

2015 was a pain in the patooty, but we’re hardy people who have been taught from birth that it’s important to press on. Here’s to enduring to the end! Happy Holidays!

If you guys do a realistic holiday letter, please share! I’d love to see it. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “The Realistic Holiday Newsletter 2015

  1. I’ll have to give this a go.

    Your version is awesome, by the way.

    “LUKE went feral this year, growing a beard, running races, and becoming obsessed with a diet of red meat, sticks of butter, and tree bark. ” – Excellent. I want to read a novel with this opening line.

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